So... I'm all new to this blogging stuff. Every time I was told to have a journal for class, I just couldn't do it. I would always forget, but mostly, I just didn't want to write. The last time I was given a journal was when a classmate had given me one during the last day of acting class. She told me that I should write and vent my anger inside the journal, like I would ever do that. So, I am starting this blog and I hope that I will keep to it.
I guess I want to start with talking about myself and all that goodness. I am 20 years old and I finally figured out what I want in life. I also paint and I love photography. I love being around people and especially kids. I can easily talk to a stranger and make conversation. Even though I am at that age where girls are done dating toads and already spending time with the man they want to be with the rest of their life, I haven't found anything. Let's just say that the first guy to ask me out "silently" dumped me and the next day had a gf. This was a scene from like a sad romantic movie.
We get into an arguement and I run out of the house at around 2:30 am crying while he chases after me shirtless and shoeless telling me to come back in and that it is dangerous outside at night. I seriously did not give a shit if I walked out late. My friends ran off to get me and I decided to sit on the front lawn while waiting for a friend to pick me up and drop me off to my dorm room. My friends tell me that I should at least talk to him, so I go in and say goodbye. I tell them I just said goodbye, but they made me go back in. So we are talking about it and he tells me that he'll give me a ride to my dorm, but then I tell him that I don't want a pity ride because that is what it is. He just laughs.
The next day I see him with his new gf at a house party. I get drunk and basically make a fool out of myself. From that point on, I thought to myself that I could never trust a man again. It is really hard to figure out a guy. They tell you all the things you want to hear and give you eskimo kisses and make you forget about everything else. You wait for that one text from them and you text for like two months, then all of a sudden it stops. I always tell myself to forget it all, but then you fall into that trap again.
I can officially say that every guy that has been attracted to me are all douchebags. I have never been on a date or been stable in any way with a guy. Let's just say that about now, I am feeling really hopeless. After my last try, he would visit me and told me he liked me, but nothing happened. Now, I haven't received a text for about a week. After that one, that is where I really felt hopeless. This helped though... It made me think about my future with just me in it. I decided I want to work with mentally disabled kids. I love to paint, so I wanted to put that into it where I could paint with them and just be a stressless time. I have a passion for kids because they are the ones with unlimited love and are the most innocent things in this world. They can easily make you smile and are the most beautiful things.
So.. I'm starting to notice that this is a little bit more than an introduction. But, I am feeling that my blogs are going to lean more towards relationships and my future. I'll probably talk about relationships that I see around me, and perhaps about my past.
-Erika
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